Stephen A. Smith is an Ignoramus, Thinks Hockey Still Has Ties >

by Michael DeNicola

Tuesday, March 05, 2013 --

Let's start out with the obvious...

...."Screamin" A. Smith is a very opinionated, animated sports analyst, and he has no shame aggressively proving that fact. In his latest SportsCenter segment, Stephen A. went on record saying the Miami Heat's winning streak is more impressive than the Chicago Blackhawks' points-streak because, in hockey, "there are ties."

"I'm not into the tie business!"

No, Stephen, you're just into the "fucking up my argument before I even get started" business. There haven't been ties in the NHL since before two work-stoppages ago (April 4, 2004), and whether you enjoy the sport of hockey or not, Stephen A. is in the business of knowing sports. Maybe he'd understand by associative learning? I'll help him out...

The last time an NHL game ended in a tie was in the same calendar year Ron Artest went apeshit on the fans in the stands.

See? I hate basketball with the dominating passion of a thousand burning cosmic suns, but a little research goes a long way. HOORAY KNOWLEDGE!

S.A.S is a basketball guy, which has been made clear with his loud rants and emotive gestures through his tenure of yelling at you from the television. 

First off, ESPN is to hockey like Don Cherry is to Russians; it's blatantly obvious ESPN has about as much respect for puck as the NRA has for hippies, and now Stephen A. only adds to that mound of truth. ESPN would tell you that "SportsCenter covers hockey everyday" [uh huh], and it's "unfair" to say otherwise. 

Spending 2.8 per cent of your airtime in one year doesn't qualify as hockey coverage (source). I see more hockey news tuning in to HGTV (who doesn't love 'The Property Brothers'?). And as Deadspin points out, "The fact that he's not interrupted by Sara Walsh, who covered the Capitals on D.C. TV for a few years, just emphasizes that "debate" is actually "monologuing"." So, part of that 2.8 per cent is ESPN mocking the sport we so passionately love?

Secondly, as a hockey fan, I'm insulted. Flat out, I'm insulted when I hear a cable television network, "dedicated"  to broadcasting and producing sports-related programming, discrediting one of North America's four major professional sports, and the feats accomplished in this sport. 

If this counts as part of ESPN's sworn "hockey coverage", then perhaps it's time they revamp their definition of the testimony. 

Lastly, the NBA Championship is virtually decided by one of five teams in the league. The NBA has become such a joke through the years because there's been a handful of its teams monopolizing most of the talent. You're going to tell me that the Heat's winning streak is more impressive than Chicago's points-streak? 

Give your head a shake, Stephen.

LeBron & Company are dominating the NBA because 9 out of 10 adversaries are JV High School teams compared to their firepower. That's not from drafting and developing a great club over the years like, say, the Chicago Blackhawks have. That's from throwing a fuckload of money in the faces of three superstar players. 

So spare us your thoughts soaked with obscene illusory.

All I know is, a televised debate between Stephen A. Smith and Mr. Don "Grapes" Cherry would be an insanely entertaining 10-minutes. Actually, that ought to be ESPN's penance. 

for shits and giggles

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